Wednesday, May 18, 2005

1776, In A Parallel Universe Far, Far Away...

Jedderson to Yoditor:

Here is my great piece of writing. I am sure no yoditing will be necessary.

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the Galaxy, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Yoditor to Jedderson:

Too wordy, Tom. Change it to: "When colonies are about to fight for independence from the Empire, it is considered polite to explain to the Universe why they want to do it." Your mention of "Nature's God" is gratuitous. Two centuries from now, there will be manuals of style telling writers not to write like that.

Jedderson to Yoditor:

But my gratuitous mention of "Nature's God" is intentional. I want to piss off my Christian contemporaries, and I want to confuse the Nature's Hell out of Christians two centuries from now.

Yoditor to Jedderson:

OK (as they will say sixty years from now), keep it in, young master Tom. But you'll see it's dangerous to write above a 12-year-old's level. Those confused Christians may end up convincing everyone that you were one of them.

Final version:

When colonies are about to fight for independence from the Empire, it is considered polite to explain to the Universe why they want to do it, Nature's God damn it!
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