Rhymes for the Times

by Edd Doerr

There was an old man from Potsdam
Whose odor was like rotten spam.
To my query theoretical
He replied philosophical,
"I stink, therefore I am."

A pianist named Phelonius Phrunk
Performed best when blind stinking drunk.
He'd begin to drool
And slide off his stool,
Then play better than you would have thunk.

Old King Vlad was a nasty old sod.
A nasty old sod was he.
He called for his mace and his sharp snickersnee
And summoned his assassins three.
Each assassin had a dagger, a very fine dagger had he.
Oh, there's none so rare as can compare
With Old King Vlad as his assassins three.

Little miss Gable sat at the table
Stuffing her maw with grub.
Along came a spider and sat down beside her,
So she smashed it flat with her club.

Peas porridge heiss,
Peas porridge kalt.
Peas porridge schmeckt wie Scheiss
Neun Tage alt.